


Our Hands Held Tight

by elutherya (elesteria)



Series: If You Heard [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pre-Established Relationship, cawllection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 18:50:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17534291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elesteria/pseuds/elutherya
Summary: Debut and comebacks, it’s a lot on all of their shoulders. The expectation of their company and their fans, a heavy weight. But Hongjoong also carries the weight of the team in a way none of them do. It had taken Seonghwa some time to work out that it wasn’t a leader thing, not this time at least, and it had been watching the KQ Fellaz episodes that he’d realized what it was. So if Hongjoong needs to be pulled away from the studio some nights, he's more than happy to be the one to do it.





	Our Hands Held Tight

**Author's Note:**

> Title lovingly taken from UNB's "Only One", which I listened to on repeat as I wrote this and that LastFM is telling me I've listened to nearly 900 times over the last four months. BUT, this story was just a quick thing I started working on before the comeback and that I only just now actually came back to and dusted off. Something quick, light, and soft.
> 
> This was originally meant to be the fic about Hongjoong's tiny hands and how Seonghwa's fingers are infinitely longer than his own... but then I got distracted and it got softer and I went with that instead. Maybe for the next one, lol

“Did you finish?” The noise startles Hongjoong and he twists in his chair to see Seonghwa standing in the doorway to the studio. Seonghwa takes his silence as an invitation to step into the room, and he does, taking the seat beside him. Hongjoong turns back to his laptop and saves the file he’d been working on.

“No, it’s missing something,” Hongjoong finally answers, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling. Seonghwa reaches out and wraps a hand around the back of his neck, squeezing gently. The weight of the day seems to sink into Hongjoong now that he’s paused, his shoulders slumping and eyes falling shut.

“Whatever is missing can wait until tomorrow. Come back to the dorms and go to sleep before two for once,” Seonghwa keeps his voice low and coaxing rather than ordering. It’s enough to have Hongjoong nodding, giving in without much of a fight.

They sit in silence, before Seonghwa gives the back of his neck one final squeeze and nudges at his shoulder. With a whine, Hongjoong sits up in his chair and saves his work again without protest. It doesn’t take them long to clean up the studio: pushing chairs in, and tucking mics and headphones away.

“That’s everything,” Hongjoong nods, tucking his laptop away into his bag. He sways where he’s standing, and it’s enough for Seonghwa to reach out and wrap an arm over his shoulders. Guiding him out of the studio and back to the dorms doesn’t take much effort, and it’s a sign of how tired he is.

“I’m going to check on them,” the words come out quiet when they finally step back into their dorm. Seonghwa lets him go, watches his back as he paces down the hall, opening the doors to the rooms as he passes and looking in on their other members.

It’s not a tired born from lack of sleep, Seonghwa recognizes. He can see it in the way Hongjoong seems to slow further after each room he checks, until he’s standing still in Mingi and Jongho’s doorway. He presses his forehead to the doorframe, shoulders shaking on the inhale he drags in through his teeth. 

“Come on,” Seonghwa murmurs, pulling the door closed and taking Hongjoong by the wrist. 

Debut and comebacks, it’s a lot on all of their shoulders. The expectation of their company and their fans, a heavy weight. But Hongjoong also carries the weight of the team in a way none of them do. It had taken him some time to work out that it wasn’t a leader thing, not this time at least, and it had been watching the KQ Fellaz episodes that he’d realized what it was.

When they’d been writing their letters and Hongjoong had written his to them, had talked about how much school he had missed to work, had cried in the car, Seonghwa had known. He was doing all of this for them, for the people who had so quickly become his family. He’d worked himself to the early hours of the morning for them, had written and composed songs for them.

And then, he’d been told that only one of his songs would be making it onto the comeback album.

He’d steeled himself, had nodded his head when they’d been told who had been brought in to compose and produce the songs on their debut and comeback album. He’d straightened his shoulders and smiled, but it hadn’t reached his eyes when he’d been told he’d be helping write the lyrics. It’s not malicious, but it doesn’t take a genius to see how Hongjoong takes it. 

_You’re good, but not good enough._

It’s not the truth, because he’s more than good enough. He’s better than they deserve, but it’s hard for them to remind him of that fact most days.

Seonghwa pulls him towards their room, takes his bag from his hand when they get there and sets it off to the side. It’s easy to maneuver Hongjoong onto his bed, even if he remains tense the entire time. Once he’s got him sitting, Seonghwa stops, looks at him and takes him in.

Shoulders stiff, fingers twisted into the blanket, and eyes on the floor. 

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says, voice quiet, but firm. He doesn’t move from where he’s standing, just waits until Hongjoong finally looks up at him. “Do you want me to help?”

Hongjoong nods, not bothering to ask help with what. He doesn’t need to ask when knows what Seonghwa’s question encompasses.

“Okay,” Seonghwa smiles, reaching out to comb his fingers through Hongjoong’s fringe. He drops his hand and walks back to their door, closing it softly and making sure that it’s locked. He turns off the light, before padding over to the lamp and switching it on.

He can feel Hongjoong’s eyes on him as he moves through their room, and then holding carefully still when Seonghwa crouches down in front of him and takes off his boots. Humming, he kicks off his own shoes, before going to store them away. His jacket is next to go, and then it’s Hongjoong’s that he gently urges him out of.

Once they’re hung up, he goes back to the beds, reaching up to his own to grab around under his pillows. Hongjoong doesn’t say a word, and it’s a clear sign of how stuck in his own head he is.

“Hmm,” Seonghwa hums, setting a familiar bottle down onto the side table. Everything in place, he sits back down beside Hongjoong, taking his face between his hands and tilting his head so that he’s meeting his gaze. “Are you sure? I’m going to need more than a nod this time. It’s alright if you’re not, we can just sleep if you’re not.”

Hongjoong blinks, mouth working around words he can’t quite push out. He exhales sharply through his nose, eyes falling shut, and Seonghwa can see the way his throat bobs on a swallow. He waits like that, thumbs gentling over the curves of his cheeks and gives Hongjoong the time to find the right words.

“I’m sure,” his voice comes out thin and he opens his eyes to look back at Seonghwa. He blinks slowly, mouth twisting down into a frown. “I can’t stop thinking. It helps. You help.”

“Okay,” Seonghwa says again, because it’s enough. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to Hongjoong’s forehead.

Hongjoong slumps forward at the contact, fingers releasing the blanket to grab a hold of Seonghwa’s shirt. A shudder wracks Hongjoong’s shoulders, and Seonghwa runs his hands through his hair, then down the curve of his neck and shoulders. Another kiss, this time to his cheek, and Hongjoong tilts his head to accommodate the contact. He closes his eyes and it’s an unspoken invitation that he recognizes.

Seonghwa kisses him and Hongjoong kisses him back. 

The kiss is slow, their lips moving gently against each other. Seonghwa skims his fingers under the hem of Hongjoong’s shirt, and it has him gasping as his fingertips trail over the lines of his waist. He sucks on Hongjoong’s bottom lip, before going back to the languid pace of their kiss. 

He breaks away to tug Hongjoong’s shirt off, dropping it down to the floor without another thought. His focus isn’t on keeping their room neat and tidy, not when he has Hongjoong sitting in front of him, watching him with wide eyes. He can feel the way his hands are trembling where they’re clenched around the fabric of his shirt against his chest, and Seonghwa knows his focus is well placed.

“If you want me to stop, you need to tell me.” Seonghwa cups his jaw with one of his hands and watches the way Hongjoong nods. With that confirmation, Seonghwa leans in and this time when he kisses him, it’s not the chaste kiss from earlier. This time he bites at Hongjoong’s bottom lip and licks into his mouth when he gasps.

Dropping his hands down to Hongjoong’s hips, he runs his thumbs over the hem of his jeans. He doesn’t push it, just continues to kiss Hongjoong until he’s breathless. It’s slow, and if he’s being honest with himself, Seonghwa knows that he could spend hours kissing Hongjoong like this. Like they have all the time in the world and no space between them.

It’s easy to lose track of time, with the way Hongjoong kisses him back, meets him so easily. As if they’ve been doing this for years rather than months. It’s Hongjoong who breaks it though, pulling away and dropping his face into the curve of Seonghwa’s neck to catch his breath.

“I’m not going to break,” Hongjoong finally sighs, letting go of Seonghwa’s shirt. He reaches up, his hand curling around the back of his neck. 

“I know,” Seonghwa answers with a smile.

“Then stop handling my like I will,” the small laugh that accompanies the words is a relief. It’s more telling than the way his shoulders have relaxed, or the way his hands have stopped shaking. Hongjoong leans back, his lips curved up in a smile.

“I like it,” it’s easy to admit in the quiet of their room. Hongjoong cocks his head just the smallest bit at his admission and Seonghwa can practically see the way he stores away that particular piece of information. “But you’re right. This is about you right now.”

Pushing Hongjoong back onto the bed, he unbuckles his pants and pulls them down. Hongjoong lets him, watches him with one eyebrow quirked and a flash of amusement on his face. It’s a stark contrast to the worried exhaustion he’d been wrapped in earlier.

As soon as he’s got Hongjoong stripped out of his clothes, he lifts his hips up and pulls him into his lap. He throws Hongjoong’s legs around either side of his waist, making sure he’s settled comfortably. As tempting as it would be to drag him up and kiss him, it’s already a lot, having Hongjoong splayed out across the bed in front of him.

“Seonghwa hyung,” Hongjoong drawls, shifting in his lap. He’s already half hard, and the expression on his face is one that Seonghwa is all to familiar with seeing on stage. Seonghwa doesn’t question it, because he knows how intimidating it can be to be laid naked out in front of someone. It’s just another an act, the cockiness.

Seonghwa doesn’t reply, just reaches for the bottle of lube he’d brought down from his bunk. He flips the cap and pours a generous amount across his fingers, before dropping the bottle down beside him. He warms the lube between his fingers, attention focused on Hongjoong’s face.

He sees the way his smile falters as Seonghwa remains silent, but there isn’t a sign that he regrets saying yes to this. He reaches behind him with his clean hand, loosely wraps it around Hongjoong’s ankle, before dragging his hand upwards. He smooths his hand over Hongjoong’s knee, before settling on his thigh and waits.

Hongjoong’s smile finally cracks completely, as a shiver runs through him. He bites his bottom lip, before nodding his head jerkily, eyes squeezing shut.

“You’ve been working so hard,” Seonghwa finally breaks the silence. He leans forward, pressing his lips to the flat of Hongjoong’s stomach as he tentatively wraps his lube covered fingers around his cock. It pulls a whine from Hongjoong as he arches up off the bed, hands twisting into the sheets beneath him.

Hongjoong exhales sharply, body tense where he’s rested across Seonghwa’s lap as he starts to jerk him off. He keeps his pace slow, hand working up the length of Hongjoong’s cock, before thumbing over the tip. It doesn’t take long for him to have Hongjoong rolling his hips upwards into Seonghwa’s hand, seeking a faster pace.

“Come on, come on,” Hongjoong grits out between his teeth, the loose curl of Seonghwa’s fingers not enough.

Usually they get off on a few hurried handjobs in the shower. There isn’t time for much else with the way their schedules look, and the way Hongjoong tends to hide away in the studio. Time isn’t something they usually have, and Seonghwa is ready to take full advantage of the fact that he has that tonight.

Seonghwa shifts, and he knows that Hongjoong can feel the press of his own erection against him. It’s all secondary to the way Hongjoong bites his bottom lip on a whine when Seonghwa finally tightens the circle of his fingers around his cock though. He works up a steady rhythm, twisting his wrist on every up stroke.

“You’re alright, I’ve got you.” Hongjoong’s eyes snap open at the quiet words, pupils blown wide. They flick over Seonghwa’s face, even as his hips thrust shakily upwards. Seonghwa can feel the way he’s tensed back up, hands clenched into fists and legs stiff where they’ve wrapped around his waist. Seonghwa meets his gaze, doesn’t flinch away from the searching look. 

Hongjoong’s fingers stiffly let go of the sheets, before they’re settling against Seonghwa’s knees. His nails dig into the rough fabric of his jeans, just as his thighs loosen their hold around his waist. It’s small things that Seonghwa wouldn’t notice if he hadn’t been paying attention. But the small things add up, and he knows they mean Hongjoong is giving him his trust in this. Trusting him that he’ll be alright, that he’s not alone in this.

He hopes that Hongjoong understands what he’s trying to say. That it’s not just about now, but in everything.

Letting go of Hongjoong’s cock, he reaches for the lube again, squeezing more onto his fingers. Hongjoong twitches in his lap, breath coming rushed and ragged, but doesn’t say anything. He just watches Seonghwa carefully, eyes tracking his every movement, before shifting back up to his face. Seonghwa smiles, something he hopes is reassuring as he warms the lube between his fingers.

He guides his hand between them, knowing that his wrist will complain at the angle later, but not caring when Hongjoong gives a full body shudder when his fingers press against his entrance. He waits until he feels Hongjoong clench against his fingers, and then presses his finger in past the first knuckle.

“Oh,” Hongjoong hums lowly, hips shifting gently in Seonghwa’s lap. He inhales, exhales, and finally closes his eyes again, sinking back onto the bed.

Crooking his finger, he presses it in further, lube making the slide easier. He patiently works Hongjoong with one finger for a few moments, watching for any sign of discomfort. He waits until Hongjoong is actively meeting the thrust of his finger, before he adds a second one.

His fingers are gentle and steady, the stretch of two fingers barely stinging with the help of the lube. Hongjoong breathes shakily, leg spasming around Seonghwa. It’s the same routine. Keeping things slow until it looks like Hongjoong’s about to ask for more, and then adding a third finger before he has time to ask.

“I’ve got you,” Seonghwa murmurs, right as he crooks his fingers and Hongjoong jerks forward in his lap with a loud gasp. It draws a chuckle from Seonghwa, the way Hongjoong sat up like a puppet pulled taught. His legs tightened back around him, and his hands slid into his hair, as he panted into the curve of Seonghwa’s neck.

“There we are,” he says, and he strokes back over the spot. He skims the pads of his fingers over the spot again and again, teasingly until Hongjoong is squirming.

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong gasps, hands tugging at his hair. Seonghwa jerks, stops everything he’s doing, but Hongjoong only grinds back down on his fingers. He twists his fingers, settling back into a steady rhythm.

At the next stroke of his prostate, Hongjoong muffles himself by biting down on Seonghwa’s shoulder. Seonghwa presses harder, watching Hongjoong closely, and Hongjoong arches forward into him.

He can tell Hongjoong is close, that he just needs that final push. So he takes his hand off of his thigh, and drops it onto Hongjoong’s cock. His grasp is graceless, and he can’t match the pace his fingers are setting against Hongjoong’s prostate, but he doesn’t seem to mind. The extra touch is enough to push him over the edge.

Hongjoong gasps as he climaxes, hot over Seonghwa’s hand, overwhelmed. He rocks forward into his grip, and then back onto Seonghwa’s fingers. He continues to move his fingers until Hongjoong is whining, fingers sliding out of his hair to slap weakly at Seonghwa’s arms. He moans as Seonghwa’s fingers slip free, face pressed into the side of his neck still.

“I’ve got you,” Seonghwa presses a soft kiss to the side of Hongjoong’s face that he can reach. He wants to smooth his fingers up the length of Hongjoong’s back, to pull him in close and steady him. Instead he lets Hongjoong be the one to wrap his arms around him, as he continues to quiver in his lap.

“How are you doing?” He waits until Hongjoong has stopped shaking, before asking. It’s tough waiting, when he wants to avoid dragging his messy hands up his naked skin.

The question earns him a grunt, before Hongjoong is pulling away, flopping back onto the bed. He stretches out, expression lax in a way it hasn’t been in weeks. “Good.”

“Then you’re not going to mind if I go wash my hands and then we can cuddle.” Seonghwa doesn’t wait, just listens to the noise of dissatisfaction that Hongjoong makes as he gets up off of the bed and starts for the door.

He doesn’t waste time washing his hands, and wetting a cloth to wipe up the mess they’d made in the room. He takes his time wandering back to their room, checking in on everyone else as he makes his way down the hall. It’s peaceful, with them all asleep, but he doesn’t let himself dwell long.

Hongjoong has curled up onto his side when he gets back to their dorm, looking asleep, right up until Seonghwa sits down on the edge of the bed. Hongjoong cracks an eye open and Seonghwa holds up the damp cloth, waiting for a nod, before he starts wiping down the inside of his legs, and up his stomach.

As soon as he’s done, he gets up to throw the cloth in the laundry hamper, alongside all of Hongjoong’s clothes and his own. He strips down to his boxers and throws everything in, before turning off the light and finally crawling into bed behind Hongjoong.

He pulls him back to his chest, tangling their legs together and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

“Do you want to get off?” Hongjoong asks, yawning. 

“No, not right now. Just want to cuddle.” Seonghwa says, reaching down to pull the blankets up and over them. He can feel Hongjoong nod.

“Can you spend tomorrow with us?” The question comes out brittle, in the darkness of their room. Hongjoong twists around in his arm, and even in the darkness, Seonghwa can see the way his eyes glint.

Another nod, and Hongjoong is kissing him, soft and sweet. “Yeah.”

“You’re not alone, you know. You have all of us.” Seonghwa catches himself, before he rambles about how amazing he thinks Hongjoong is. They’re words for tomorrow, where they can’t be easily forgotten due to exhaustion. “You have me.”

“I know,” Hongjoon lifts a hand, runs it through Seonghwa’s hair. “I’m still getting used to it. You guys make it better, but sometimes it still doesn’t feel real.”

“That’s alright, we’ll just have to keep reminding you.” Seonghwa hides his smile against Hongjoong’s cheek. “Now try to go to sleep. I didn’t pull you out of the studio early for no reason.”

Hongjoong’s laugh fills the room, so much so that Seonghwa barely catches his soft thank you.

They’re not fully there, but for now, it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come talk to me about these boys, possible prompts or just... anything at all: you can find me over at [twitter](https://twitter.com/Elesteria). I'm always down to chat at new people, although I'm sometimes a bit nervous about actually initiating conversations. You can also find me at [curiouscat](https://t.co/1yfgiUBE0r) if you have any thoughts, prompts or stuff that you're too nervous to say in public. 
> 
> I'm always working on something new and love getting to share previews of stuff! I'm an OT8 fan, and my multishipping heart cannot be stopped, so seriously, I am more than happy to take prompts. /finger pistols


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